Can You be TOO Feminine?
I have a client, I'll call Julie. She's a beautiful and fit woman that I'm working with on the phone. She's polite and sweet and extremely smart. I enjoy her immensely and she's working with me to get better social skills and so she can work better with men. I guess I'm pretty good at this. I grew up with a mom who had 8 brothers. My dad had 7 brothers and I have 2 brothers of my own. I have a sister too but when I was younger I was the girl in the neighborhood who would compete with the boys while playing kickball or pickle in the front yard. I liked to win. My sister was more into crafts and sewing. I picked those up later, but was never as talented as my sister in domestic things. I was the one who had to learn how to be feminine. I was always "one of the boys" until college when I realized that I wasn't being treated special by the guys at all. They were rough and tough around me and didn't hesitate to talk down to me either. I remember once in college I felt I'd had enough. I was a freshman and hanging out with the football players. They all liked hanging with me but when it came time to ask the girls out for a party, I was the one stuck at home. I decided to change that in the blink of an eye. I disappeared. I no longer went to the cafeteria to just hang out every night. I ate at another location and basically didn't reappear for another month. When I finally decided to make an appearance.. I was a bit coy about where I'd been. I had lost a few lbs but didn't show up in sweats any more and didn't laugh quite as loud as before. Guess what happened? They all asked me out!!! I finally realized that to be treated like a QUEEN, you have to BE A QUEEN!!! It was a lesson I never forgot and it's allowed me to be treated well in business and my personal life my whole adulthood. I demand to be treated well. I leave if I'm not. So, MY lesson was how NOT to be ONE of the boys!!! The lesson my CLIENT is learning is to BE one of the guys! First of all, what are the advantages of being a woman in business who can 'yuck it up with the guys?" Well, there are times where she's going to be their boss. She's going to be the one bearing bad news, or the one praising them, or the one selling to them. If she feels comfortable and can be their friend, then there won't be the uncomfortable tension that sometimes happens between men and women in business. Many women who didn't have the advantage of growing up with brothers or being an athlete view men as a mystery. They haven't figured out how to talk with them (to the point and share INFORMATION, not STORIES ) and they haven't learned how to be treated well by them. (confront them for bad behavior or dump them!) But how can a woman, who is used to being so feminine get to the point where she is comfortable with the men? I read a passage from a great book to my client today. It's from "Women who Run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. "Within every woman there is a wild and natural creature, a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, and ageless knowing. Her name is Wild Woman, but she is an endangered species. Though the gifts of wildish nature come to us at birth, society's attempt to "civilize" us into rigid roles has plundered this treasure, and muffled the deep, life-giving messages of our own souls. Without Wild Woman, we become over-domesticated, fearful, uncreative, trapped." YES!! This is what she needed to hear. I actually told her she could try being more MASCULINE. I challenged her to go to a few rodeos, whoop it up with some cowboys who ride bulls, go to a few sports games and sit with the rowdy folks, wear jeans, drink beer, go camping, get her hands dirty, take pottery lessons, and do some loud belly laughing! She was amazed! No one had EVER told her that she could try being more MASCULINE in order to get along better with men. I assured her that there would be NO way that she'd turn into a man eating monster but that she'd just get the "feel" for what its like to be more comfortable with that wild part of her nature that she wanted to nurture. She loved it. I did too. It's something I'd never really coached on but it was definitely a lesson that I'd like to give to women who are too stuffy, too conservative, too suppressed, too domesticated or TOO FEMININE. Being feminine lady is a wonderful thing?. but abandoning your 'masculine side' will make you slightly uncomfortable and fearful in the presence of others. While men will appreciate your sophistication at a dinner party, they may avoid you while cutting lose. We've all heard how much business is done on the golf course. That's because people do business when they feel comfortable with others. So ask yourself.. are you comfortable with others in every situation? If not, then push yourself to be in situations that potentially make you uncomfortable. When you can be comfortable with being uncomfortable, you are on your way to making others comfortable too. And that is the BEST trait of a sophisticated lady! Mary Gardner, The Charisma Coach! is an Executive Communications Consultant and Trainer. She works with, coaches and trains individuals, sales teams, executives, and celebrities. She owned and operated one of the first coaching institutions on the east coast, CCI, in NYC, Philly and NJ. Mary has appeared on ABC's 20/20 and has self published a book on public speaking. Mary is married to Sway and is mommy to Jeremy 5, and lives in Orlando, FL. Contact mary at: mary@marygardner.com or Web: www.marygardner.com
Related News
The price of beauty - LaSalle News Tribune
The price of beautyLaSalle News Tribune, IL -12 hours agoGlamour magazine did an article about things guys will never understand about beauty, and I thought the guys of Ottawa Township High School wouldn’t ... |
Quinn: Bedlam and beauty for ABs - TVNZ
Sally Beauty Holdings, Inc. Reports Solid Results for Fiscal 2008 ... - MarketWatch
Disney expands 3D movies with "Beauty", IMAX deal - Reuters
Earnings roundup: Sally Beauty, School Specialty - Forbes
Sally Beauty profit misses, but allays recession fears - Forbes
Honeck reveals beauty of Beethoven, Bruckner - Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
Honeck reveals beauty of Beethoven, BrucknerPittsburgh Tribune-Review, PA -1 hour agoThe music's poetic sensibility can be effectively emphasized, but Ohlsson achieved his beauty without exaggeration. It was Beethoven's beauty that emerged ... |
"Beast" sure to be a 3-D beauty for Disney in 2010 - Reuters
The Grand, a "Little Slice of Europe in Florida," Adds Double ... - MarketWatch
Twilight goes for beauty over substance - Houston Chronicle
|
|
 |
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Tired Of Tweezing? A Better Way To A More Beautiful You
Any drug store has a section full of products to deal with the problem of unwanted facial hair: tweezers, waxes, bleaches, and even sugaring kits. Some salons have a trained electrolysist on staff to remove hairs by electrolysis (electric charge put through a needle to kill hair follicles at their root). Some dermatologists now offer laser removal of hair that removes hair.
What is Spray Tanning?
Spray tanning is a relatively new method of sunless tanning. Technically spray tanning method is something between self-tanning cosmetics and tanning beds. You go into the spray-tanning booth where you are sprayed by a special mist. After a few minutes the process is over and in a short time you'll the kind of suntan you want.
Beauty Sleep
Beauty SleepThe health and beauty of a good night's sleep
Fashionable Mom
You're a mom and you're still thinking about being 'fashionable'? That's the kind of response I got from someone I went shopping with. All I did was go shopping with this mom and when we passed a fashion outlet selling fashionable clothing and apparel, I commented that I wanted to get that frilly pink top with splashes of lime green that is flying off the shelves with a 70% discount tag!
Looking For A Tanning Bed For Cheap?
If you want a tanning bed for cheap there are different ways to go about the project. A tanning bed for cheap may not be as difficult as you think.
Teeth Whitening: Frequently Asked Questions
Overview
9 Easy Steps To A Pedicure
Before putting on those sexy, comfortable open toe shoes make sure your feet skin is in good condition. With these easy nine steps you too will have silky feet. So go ahead get ready to do your own pedicure.soak your feet for 10-15 minutes in warm water containing Epsom salt or foot soak
Its A Shame For You Not To Reduce The Appearance of Existing Signs Of Aging And Help Prevent ...
Countless people are now using an anti-aging complex that works to help reduce the appearance of existing signs of aging and to help prevent the appearance of new lines and wrinkles in the future. The product they use has an extraordinary, marine-source formulation that is free of alpha-hydroxy acids, yet effectively evens skin tone and retextures, refines, brightens, and firms the skin's surface.
Lip Augmentation - The Raw Facts
Lip augmentation is one of the most popular cosmetic procedures. Last year, approximately 264,000 people underwent lip-plumping surgery. With fuller lips one can create a more youthful, vibrant look. This is primarily achieved through injections and grafting.
How to Use Avocado as Your Hair Care Product
Let's role on?life must go on and the life of your natural hair is in your hand. Take care of your hair with avocado and don't let it look dull due of incorrect caring. It's your responsibility for having good looking hair since your appearances is based upon your healthy hair. You probably need good natural hair care products.
Thinking About A Spray Tan For Your Wedding? Be Careful.. Be Very Very Careful...
Your wedding day is one of the most important days in your life. When you definitely want to look your best.
Testimonials on Permanent Makeup
Testimonials on Permanent Makeup
Do You Want To Look Ten Years Younger?
Do you want to look ten years younger?
Fake a Tan with Sunless Tanning Lotion
A great tan is associated with health and beauty. While a bronze look is desirable, especially in the summer or on holiday -- we all know the dangers of the sun's UV rays. Is a temporary tan worth the permanent sun damage, wrinkles, and skin cancer risk? Absolutely not!
Lip Tips
Nice lips are every woman's wish but as we get older some things grow and some things shrink, and never in the order we wish. Your lips are going to get smaller and thinner. Now stop! It's not the end of the world. There are plenty of things you can do to make your lips look fuller.
The Rhinoplasty Procedure
While most people have heard of rhinoplasty or nose surgery, most do not know what the procedure entails once you enter the hospital operating room.
Cosmetics ? The Practical Way To Beauty!
Want that healthy, tanned look without that elusive Spanish holiday? Use cosmetics! For cosmetics is the easiest way to enhance your image. Image is what the cosmetic industry sells through its products. And although it's up to you to believe it or not, I'm sure you won't complain. Definitely not when you can get "that look" without being much the poorer for it.
Curls Are Back In for Spring 2005!
Whether you have loose curls or tight coily locks you will definately be the talk of the town this spring!
The Secrets of Becoming More Beautiful
Like every organ in your body, our skin requires adequate nutrition to function properly. Nutrients that enhance overall body health will also promote healthy skin and hair. It needs pharmaceutical-grade supplements that provide advanced levels of essential vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and cofactors in convenient morning and evening packets for a difference you will see and feel.
Dangers of Tanning Beds and How to Prevent Them!
The subject of the dangers of tanning beds use has been the crux of many a debate among beauty experts and skin specialists alike. So before you go and get that tan, its important to understand some key tanning bed facts and the possible side effects of tanning bed usage.
|
